Here I am, back at it. It’s been an extremely interesting year. Damaging in a few ways, deeply healing in others. My faith in the Universe is always growing stronger. This is not to say that I don’t doubt myself and feel like conceding from time to time, but only that, from a rational perspective, I find it so incredibly impossible to not feel that everyone’s life is divinely influenced. We may wander from our path, and we’re allowed to without causing it irreparable damage, but we’ll always end up back where we belong; our progression may be accelerated or decelerated by our choices, but there is objective comfort in knowing that ultimately a person will not change what is meant to be.*

I am going to start writing a lot. Writing and communication, those are my strengths. And I’ve been allowing them to weaken. I used to have a stronger, broader vocabulary, and phrasing, even, used to come more simply to me. I’m a bit upset with myself for having slipped, but when you consider my perspective, I think my lax approach is better understood. It’s hard to write things like this and feel like I’m not making excuses for myself. This is something that the world is ready to see from anyone who navigates life differently than they do, because it is human nature to desire to be above someone (the more ‘someones’ the better, to be honest). Well, here’s the deal: everyone is different, everyone experiences like-encounters differently. I don’t know what works for other people, but that isn’t my task; it’s obviously hard enough for me to figure myself out so that’s probably all I should worry about. So let me lay out why it’s been (and is still) so hard for me to put my nose to the grindstone when it comes to developing my natural writing/communication abilities: while I studied (at first Creative Writing) English in university, I have a really hard time coming to believe that these skills actually count as skills. This is a multi-faceted problem. It stems, I think, predominately from some embarrassing inadequacy issues I’ve got. As it is, I can’t separate myself from feeling that communication is just legitimately not a skill which is why I can’t appreciate that it’s my strength. However, when I think about this more broadly, I don’t think there’s anything I could do that I would be able to just uniformly praise. So that’s pathetic. I’m not sure where this is rooted in me. But I think it’s there, even though I really really hate to admit it (I am aware that this probably doesn’t seem like much of an admission if you’ve ever met me). Anyway, folks, there’s nothing I’m about if not growth. So I’m biting the bullet and trying to recognize that I’m *maybe* not actually just a pile of useless flesh. And I’m going to start writing. And writing. And writing. Because while it’s maybe garbage, communication is the foundation of our society and is the means to everything. And though humans are arguably trash (sorry, that sounds pretty harsh), I am one. So even though I’d rather not partake in… anything, really… if I don’t want to die on the streets, I gotta join in this absurd circus.

In conclusion, I’m going to be writing about hella topics. And maybe after I’ve written about 100 posts and feel this weird and gross post is safely buried along with the others that are all emotional and enough to make any self-respecting person *vom*, I’ll share this blog and maybe someone will read some of my work and discover that I’m competent enough to hire. If nothing else, I’m shamelessly more fun than at least 60% of the population so that alone makes me worth hiring (in my unbiased and humble perspective). Anyway, buckle up, kiddos. Can’t wait to ride this thing until I can’t ride no more. Serious eye roll emoji. See ya ~*real real*~ soon.

*Or maybe I’m totally off and this is belief is just something that seems true for me because I’ve been too weak to alter my path. This thought doesn’t feel correct or true in my heart, but I have a great love for disclaimers (read: safety nets), and thus would hate to not provide it to show that the thought has occurred to me.